Amygdala
by ShinyAnn
Summary: Two broken boys who work hard to heal each other. Draco x Harry. Sequel to House of Cards.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N : Sequel to House of cards. Best to read it first. Enjoy. **

* * *

Draco sits outside the waiting room, his fingers curled loosely in his lap and his feet together, knees touching. He stares blankly at the wall in front of him and wishes there was something on it. Like a painting or a mirror or something else. It would offer a little distraction. He glances left and right.

The corridors are deserted and the lighting is dim. Its quite early on a Sunday and so most of the patients are still asleep. Draco would be too, if Luna hadn't sent for him. The door to his left opens and a tall red haired girl shuffles out, muttering to herself.

"Come in." a voice calls out and Draco quickly gets to his feet, not wanting to keep her waiting.

"Hello , Draco. Feeling Good?" Luna Lovegood smiles radiantly, her blonde hair left untied, framing her pale face.

Draco cracks a small smile of his own and settles down on the couch , his eyes flitting around the room curiously. Something's off.

"Some ...p-paintings are gone." He says, thoughtfully and carefully, trying to get over the slight stutter, and pointing at the bare walls. Luna chuckles, pointing her wand at said walls and Draco smiles when the paintings reappear.

"My previous patient has an aversion to paintings. It helps our sessions much better when they aren't there."

_sessions_

Draco feels his heart pound at the word and gulps.

Luna leans forward comfortingly.

"I'm signing your release, this week." she says casually. Draco straightens, surprised and scared.

"Wh-What?" He stutters, nervous and worried. He doesn't want to leave the hospital. Not now. not ever.

Luna sighs.

"You need to get back to your life. Its been four years."

_Has it? sometimes it feels like four hundred years, and sometimes like four seconds..._

"I d-don't... don't have... anything outside." He says helplessly, fingers twisting in his lap as his feet tapped the carpet beneath him. He needs to convince her, needs to explain that he _is _a monster that should stay locked up. Letting him out is unfair and unjust and he deserves to rot in prison and die a long and painful death.

_Harry doesn't want to press charges, Draco. _

_wh-why?_

_he just doesn't. _

_b-but... he sh-should._

_pl-please..te-tell him to p-press-ch-charges..._

_you need help draco. _

_no..no..i nee-need t-to b-be pu-punished..._

_you've punished yourself enough..._

_and he stares at the jagged cuts and scars on his forearms and wrists residual memories from months of hurting himself, from trying to bleed the filth out of his body. _

_n-not en-enough. _

_never enough._

Luna's voice pulls him out of his stupor.

"You're right. You don't have anyone or anything. Nothing holds you to your past Draco. A clean slate, a fresh start. Doesn't that sound good?" she smiles, wide and encouraging.

_no . not good. terrifying._

* * *

Draco stares at the small piece of paper in his hands and looks up at the crooked building in front of him. Its a monstrosity, without any perfect angles and its a miracle the structure remains erect. He blinks a bit and catches a glimpse of himself in the glass doors. His once long blonde hair is short and prickly, the white gold color having faded to a dull yellow. He looks haggard, his cheeks hollow and his lips thin.

The suit, one from his teenage years, hangs awkwardly on his thin frame and the veins in his neck stand out, blue and ugly. The mere sight of his own face makes him nauseous and he quickly moves forward, opening the door and letting himself in.

The inside is just as awkwardly proportioned as the outside with walls of varying heights and a sloppy ceiling, the chandelier dangling rather precariously. He stares at it a little apprehensively until someone clears their throat next to him.

He glances in the direction of the sound .

A short, sturdy young man stands there, hands clutching a small clipboard and warm brown eyes trained on him.

"Are you Draco Malfoy?" He has a kind voice, all soft a mellow and Draco relaxes marginally.

He takes a deep breath and tries to get the words out without stuttering.

"Yes. Yes, I am Draco Malfoy." He finishes carefully . If the other man noticed anything odd in his way of speech, he didn't let it show.

"Excellent, this way please."

Draco finds himself going up and down corridors until they finally reach a door.

"Send him in." A rather familiar voice says and Draco almost freezes on the door.

Seamus Finnegan lounges behind a desk, his fingers linked together. Despite , anger and disgust fill his face as he stares at Draco.

He waits till the door closes and then motions Draco to take the seat in front of him.

"You filthy son of a bitch."

Draco keeps his head lowered, not entirely sure what he's supposed to say.

_I'm so sorry, I never meant to hurt anyone. _

"You have some gall, coming back here. You're a filthy fucking monster and you belong in a cage." Seamus hisses, his eyes fiery and unforgiving, his lips curled in anger and distaste.

The words don't affect Malfoy at all. It nothing different from what he tells himself every night.

"I..I..." He can't get the words out, the sudden crushing pain in his chest making breathing difficult. He tries to calm himself down. He can't speak without calming down.

But Seamus isn't waiting for him.

"You can just fucking drown in the Thames, for all I care Malfoy. But , you know what? I'm not as big a monster as you. " He stands up then and Malfoy wonders if he's going to hit him. He almost wishes that were the case.

But the other merely moves to one of the cabinets, pulling out a few files and tossing them on the table in front of Draco. Draco stares at them. He wants to ask what they are but he doesn't trust his voice so he keeps quiet, waiting for Seamus to explain.

He returns back to his chair and then stares at Draco a little more.

"These are some of the projects we're working on. Luna told me you did a part time diploma in architectural Engineering and design. We could use someone like you." He says thoughtfully.

He then picks one of the files and tosses it at him.

"This is something we're supposed to be starting work on in three months. I'll give you three weeks. Work on the proposal, budget, materials and whatever. If it gets approved, you and I can work on the design and structural plan. If it isn't any good, I'm kicking you out." He says blandly and Draco nods quickly. He takes the files and slips them into the small briefcase on his lap.

Its a lot more than what he hoped for. Lot more than he deserves.

Seamus sighs.

"Malfoy, I don't even know why I'm still sitting here and not pounding you into a pulp like I want to. But there is something you must know . If I catch you within a mile of Harry, I'll fucking tear you limb from limb. Are we clear?"

Draco tries to open his mouth to respond.

_I know. I know , I promise I'll never ever ever in my life go anywhere near..._

"Still possessive , Seamus? We aren't dating anymore, remember?" A voice says right behind him and Draco feels like his bones are melting and the skin on his body is being sloughed off in patches. His mind screams in protest and his heart stops beating.

That voice.

That gorgeous soft amazingly perfect voice.

_nonononononono-_

Its too late to run and Draco sees the movement out of the corner of his eyes as a familiar form steps into his line of vision. Everything goes mute and white noise fills his ears as he stares, befuddled and confused.

"Hi, Draco."

He doesn't remember running or even moving, but before anyone can stop him he is out of the building and on the streets, his feet pounding the pavement mercilessly as he tries to run and run and run , hopefully till he reaches the ends of the earth.

* * *

The apartment that Draco finds for himself is a few streets away from his office and he's pretty sure it is the filthiest thing on the planet. The walls are chipped and broken and the furniture is old and crumbling. The musty smell of mildew and dampness assaults his nose and he tries not to choke on the dust mites dancing around the room.

The layout is boring. A living room with a kitchen and a small dining area to the left and a small corridor on the right, leading to the bedroom and the bathroom. He gets an advance from Seamus and borrows a little bit of money from Luna to cover for the initial down payment and then spends the rest of the money in buying clean sheets and a pillow.

The first night in the apartment, it rains. Heavy and loud, and Draco groans when he realizes that there are way too many windows in his abode, none of them capable of closing. The water splashes in without remorse and he drags the couch to the center of the hall, shivering and cold as the wind whistles through the room and drops of cold water land on his face at odd intervals.

He thinks of the manor house, the one he grew up in. The long columned pillars, the Gothic paintings, the sunlight flooding the rooms. His mother , lovely regal and tall ignoring everyone's frowns and mutterings to pull him close, although he was way too old to be sitting on on her lap. The breakfasts eaten on the terrace and at times of the lush lawn.

He wonders if he can visit it.

Its an orphanage now with an attached Hospital. The Malfoy fortune has been used well, he thinks.

He shivers uncontrollably, his coat and jacket doing a very poor job of keeping him warm.

And lying there, on the cold and musty couch with a very thin blanket wrapped around his shoulders, while the wind and the rain howl outside on the streets, Draco thinks of the dozens of children, sleeping in his childhood home. He hopes they have pleasant and lovely dreams, like the ones he'd had as a child.

And the thought brings some peace.

More peace than when he signed over his entire inheritance to charity.

And he hopes and prays that maybe, maybe this is a little, tiny minuscule bit of atonement for his sins.

* * *

**A/N :- Its going to be chaptered yes. I'll try to update as often as possible. Reviews, though? I love them ..:)  
**


	2. Chapter 2

Draco wakes up to the sound of someone calling his name and he tosses and turns a bit, still groggy from a sleepless night. His limbs are all achy and oddly twisted beneath him, the couch offering very little comfort to his lean frame. However the voice is back and he groans in protest. The slightly awake part of his subconscious is telling him that he is alone so technically he shouldn't be hearing voices and Draco rolls over, pulling the pillow over his head.

But the next minute , he feels fingers on his shoulder, gentle and firm.

"Draco?"

Definitely not a dream. Blinking, Draco sits up , confused and disoriented.

And promptly scrambles away, toppling over the edge and landing on the cold and bare floor.

Harry is standing at the foot of the couch, looking a little shocked and guilty, his soft lips parted in an 'o' of surprise. He makes a move, as thought to help Draco up, but the blonde is already crawling back, wide eyed and stunned . He stops when his spine connects with the wall, grimacing at the pain.

He clambers to his feet but doesn't look at Harry, his eyes trained to the floor in front of him.

"Wh-Why-? " His voice is more shaky than usual and he takes a little breath, trying to calm himself.

"I got your address from Luna. I hope that's alright. " Harry explains and Draco blinks.

"L-Luna?" He isn't ready for this.

_what on earth am i doing here standing in front of you , breathing the same air, i'm so sorry _

His thoughts trip over each other and he tries not to keen .

"Yeah. Its already a bit late though. I thought you'd be awake." Harry laughs a little nervously and Draco feels something cold run through his spine.

"Wh-Why... are you..." Its a pathetic little voice and he swallows. He has forgotten how difficult it was for him to talk. How painful it was to try and string syllables together to tell someone how he felt.

_why are here ? why are you standing here like i didn't destroy your world and everything that was in it?_

"It would feel good if you looked at me." Harry says softy and Draco doesn't understand it for a second.

_look at... you?_

He continues staring at the scuffed sneakers on Harry's feet, trying to get his thoughts in order.

" I wish you'd look at me." Harry makes an impatient sound and Draco freezes, fingers curling into the wall behind him.

_no, no... i can't .. i could never look at you because i don't deserve to ..._

He wants to open his mouth and say something, anything but he can't because flames are licking their way up his throat leaving it dry and cracked.

"Come one Draco, stop slouching against that wall. Straighten up." Harry demands and Draco automatically straightens, head still lowered but his spine straight and stiff against the cold wall, because Harry wants him to and who was he to deny anything Harry wanted?

"Now , raise your head. "

The words drip into his ears and then into his soul, cold and terrifying and he wants to run.

_run and keep running till i reach the farthest corner of the planet so that you would never have to face me again , because you don't deserve this and i'm sorry._

"Draco." Harry says again, voice low and soft, some of the impatience gone. Like a little girl coaxing her kitten to come out and not to be afraid.

"I..I..sh..should-d.." tears threaten and he blinks them back, the burning in his throat suddenly painful , because he was just so fucking helpless and so fucking clueless and useless and so evil and God he had no right, no fucking right to come back into Harry's world and wreck whatever he's managed to build.

_I should leave. should get myself out of your life before i end up destroying it again. _

"You should raise your head and look at me." Harry sounds firm again. And Draco is confused. So confused and upset because shouldn't Harry be screaming at him and yelling at him, throwing things at him and punching him into the floor because of what he did?

_why don't you hate me? please hate me it would hurt a lot less if you did _

"Okay. This is silly, Draco, either you look up or I'm going to come over and make you." Harry says sharply.

The words have the desired effect and Draco panics, his eyes flying open and his head swinging up and their gazes clash.

Draco wishes he hadn't.

But he's so glad he did.

Harry looks amazing. No longer small and frail. He has grown a little taller, his shoulders broad and sturdy, offering a perfect foil to his lean hips. He looks solid and strong, not someone to be easily messed with. Only the hair looks and the eyes look the same, messy and tousled, dark as a raven's wing, one lock falling carelessly into his sparkling green orbs.

And Harry smiles at him, wide and happy and Draco wants to crawl into a hole and dies because no one should be smiling at him like that and definitely not Harry.

"Seamus told me you were working on the new project. " Harry asks cheerfully , plopping down on the couch and patting the space next to him.

Draco blinks, feeling like his legs are attached to huge cement blocks that weighed him down and stopped him from moving.

"Come on." Harry says again , patting the couch and Draco gulps, dragging himself over. He settles a little farther away and watches Harry as he pulls out something from a backpack.

"Th-The ... I.. budget." he says , picking out the files from the bottom of the table, " but the ten-ders are...t-too exp-pensive." he finishes.

Harry shrugs.

"Don't worry about that, we aren't outsourcing the design and the interior works. I'm going to do them myself." Harry grins, eager and excited.

Harry places a few notebooks and Drawing sheets, tied together with a salmon pink thread , on the table and smiles.

"That's an outline of sorts , of the property. Its mostly from memory, so it might not be good." Harry says, nose wrinkling a bit and Draco picks one of the notebooks.

When he notices the familiar rolling hillocks and the small orchards dotting the area, his mouth goes dry.

"Th-This... " He starts and swallows, not sure if Harry knows. His thoughts are answered when Harry scoots a little closer and places one soft palm on his knee. It takes every ounce of his energy not to jump out of his skin.

"I know. I thought you'd like to see it again." Harry says softly, reaching over and turning the page.

And there it is.

Malfoy Manor in all its glory. And its amazing that Harry drew this from memory because every single detail is accurate . Details that even Malfoy, after having lived most of his life there, wouldn't have been able to reproduce.

"Its beautiful." He says breathlessly, the sight of his childhood home relaxing him and making his words flow with ease.

Harry doesn't say anything, instead, reaches over and rips the drawing out of the notebook. Draco blinks when he holds it out to him.

"Keep it." Harry whispers and his eyes are warm and comforting, a little unsure but mostly concerned.

Draco stares from the paper to the boy and something inside him cracks. Tears threaten and then fall, trickling down his chin and he stretches his hand out, his fingers shaking a little. He's scared to grip it too tight in case the entire thing just turns to ashes at his touch. But it doesn't and he holds it close.

"Th-Thank you, Ha- Harry."

Its a milestone in itself, being able to say the boy's name without choking. And Harry treats it as such, smiling wide and happy, his eyes twinkling.

He stands up then and reaches for his backpack.

"I thought the paintings would help you out with the proposal. I'll take them back once you're done ." He smiles again, moving towards the door. Draco watches dumbly as Harry walks to the door.

He turns around at the lasts second and offers him another blinding smile.

"Its nice to see you again, Draco." And there's something in his eyes, something that's a little like uncertainty and Draco hastens to wipe it away .

And although he shouldn't be doing it, not in front of anyone, not after everything he's done, Draco still does it.

He smiles.

The uncertainty is gone and the bright-eyed gaze is back and Harry waves before leaving.

The door shuts behind him and Draco is left staring at the dark brown wood, wondering what he could pay in return for Harry's smile.

Nothing would be enough.

* * *

Harry bounces a bit on the couch, watching Luna as she pours him a glass of coke. Once he has the drink though he places it back on the table. Luna watches him as he studies a few art magazines, relaxed and comfortable.

The last four years have been hard for Luna. It was heartening yet taxing to work with both Draco and Harry and especially tiring to make sure they never ran into each other. But she had managed and now, Harry looks happy and content.

"I saw Draco, today." He says stiltedly and Luna hums in approval.

"So I gathered. How did that go?" She asks casually, leaning forward to look for any subtle changes in Harry's face. Harry was an open book though, not afraid to say and show what he feels and that had helped a lot in his therapy. His boundless energy and optimism was coupled with genuine emotional stability .

A complete contrast to Draco, who had been dangerously close to tipping over the edge.

"Not so well. He.. he seems frightened. Of me., " he laughs a little, "which is weird right? because ... I .. I am the one who'd... shouldn't I be the one who's scared?" Harry asks , looking a little lost and forlorn .

"Were you? " Luna asks softly. This was important.

Harry thinks for a second and then shakes his head.

"No. I mean, a little, when I first saw him at Seamus's office, but then I realized that..." he hesitates.

"That?"

"That he's not the boy he was in school. Something's different. Like he's gone beyond guilt and all that into complete self hatred. " He says softly.

"He isn't frightened of you , Harry. He's frightened of what you represent." Luna explains, her fingers tapping a bit on the armrest.

"Represent?"

"Yes. What you represent is happiness and joy and laughter and innocence," she recites it with ease, having seen it scribbled all over Draco's notes during their therapy sessions.

Harry looks shocked.

"Exactly. you represent everything he's ever wanted and everything he thinks he doesn't deserve. Its hard for him to see and not feel... unworthy." She says softly.

Harry nods thoughtfully and then straightens.

"There's something else. When he speaks... his voice...he.."

"Stutters?"

"Yeah. Why's that?"

Luna thinks for a second. She couldn't tell Harry the truth . That Draco's mental set up had been a little too weak to cope with all the guilt and pain . The psychological strain had taken its toll on his physical body .

"Its called an acquired stutter. Rare, but not unheard of." she says , smiling.

"Its not.. because of me?" He looks doubtful again and Luna feels dark anger rise against the boys in Draco's life. The stupid arrogant bastards who had wrecked two innocent young boys, purely for entertainment.

"No Harry. None of this is your fault. It never was and never will be." She smiles as warm as possible but its no match for the grin she gets in return.

* * *

Draco dreams of it sometimes. Sometimes when he isn't swift enough to wake up , he gets sucked into his nightmares, so far removed from reality that he can't will himself to wake up.

He lives through that day, all over again . He remembers slamming Harry against the walls, against the chairs and against the tables and its like someone else is running his body,making him hurt the boy beneath him while his head screams to stop .

He remembers the soft sobs, the broken pleas and he wants to reach out, brush away the tears and he wants to tell Harry not to cry, to hold on to him if it hurts so bad, to come into his arms and stay there . He wants to explain to him that he was just a stupid boy a stupid jealous little boy who had wanted to be a part of Harry's world.

To get a glimpse of that elusive joy , the one that seems to ooze out of the raven haired boy irrespective of where he was or who he was with. The joy that Draco could get only when he was with Harry. And that made him mad.

Because Harry got to keep that happiness, whether or not Draco was around . Draco needs Harry but Harry doesn't need Draco and that makes sense because why would perfection need filth?

Draco dreams and remembers and wishes.

He wishes that he had listened to Harry on that day, listened to his soft voice, the gentle brush of his fingers against his shoulders. The soft pleas to stop and wait .

Instead he'd listened to the twisted voices in his own head voices that told him to take , just like it had been taken from him.

Voices that had been fed with years of abuse and trauma , years of being forced to submit to other boys who never cared that he was too young, too scared, too broken and too fragile.

And so he's listened and taken and taken and taken , not realizing that the more he took, the more he lost.


	3. Chapter 3

"I thought I told you to double check with the Finance department! How can the reports not match!" Seamus rages, flinging the files down in front of him and Draco tries to bring his pulse back to normal.

"I..just.."

"Stop with the stuttering Malfoy! Jesus , the fuck is wrong with you, huh? Is this too much for you? Do you want to stop working?" He demands angrily and Draco shrinks back. He wants to explain that he has an appointment with Luna in a few minutes and that is the reason he has left the report incomplete but as usual his tongue refuses to co operate.

"N-No.."

"Then why the fuck aren't you just acting like an adult and-" he stops when the door opens .

"Its because he's not feeling his best at the moment , Seamus. What's your excuse?" Harry snaps, stepping closer to Draco and glaring at Seamus. Finnegan's eyes widen like golf balls.

"Oh, that's great, you're defending him now?!" He sneers and Harry's eyes narrow dangerously.

"Don't forget this is still my company." Harry says quietly.

Seamus opens his mouth in shock and then shuts it. He takes a deep breath before continuing.

"Harry, Malfoy here has-"

"Another two weeks before the final report needs to be submitted? right Draco?" Harry tilted his head in Draco's direction.

Draco manages a nod, his hands now twisted in a knot on his lap.

Seamus throws him a look of pure hatred and Draco recoils again.

" You can go , Draco. Say Hi to Luna from me. "

Draco quickly shuffles out, picking up his reports on the way .

"Seamus , I'd appreciate it if you stop trying to make him late for his appointments!" Harry say crossly , just as Draco moves out.

Before the door shuts he hears Seamus's voice angrily asking Harry what he's playing at.

Draco wonders the same thing.

* * *

When Draco reaches home, he finds Harry dawdling on his doorstep, a small box near his foot. He looks nervous and shifty , his eyes flitting about nervously. Draco stops a good five feet away, vowing to maintain that distance.

"H-Harry?" He asks curiously, not sure if he even wants to know why the brunette was waiting for him. Harry however brightens the moment he catches sight of him.

"Draco! I.. I bought some stuff." He bites his lips, lightly nudging the box with his foot. Draco blinks and then nods, moving to open the door to the apartment.

Once inside, he hangs his coat on the nail near the door and takes off his shoes. Harry follows suit and then shuffles to the couch, stumbling a bit from the weight of the box.

"Wh-what.." Draco asks curiously, still standing a few feet off. Harry doesn't call him closer and merely conjures up a wooden chair. Draco sinks into it, hands automatically curling around each other in a knot.

Harry's gaze flickers to his hands and then frowns.

"Why do you keep doing that?" He asks, his voice a little unintentionally harsh. He doesn't realize it but the slight change in his voice's cadence is enough to make Draco tense.

Draco jumps at the biting tone and stares at his hands.

"Th-That?" He isn't sure what Harry's talking about.

"Your hands! You keep knotting them together like... like you want to be tied up or something." He says softly.

The effect of his words is nothing short of frightening.

Draco's entire body stiffens, his eyes going wide and the nails in his fingers digging into the flesh of his palms. He chokes out a few unintelligible syllables and then clutches the ends of the chair, his eyes wild and frightened.

"D-Don't..." He pleads and Harry stares in surprise as his pupils dilate till the blue of his eye is merely a ring.

"Hey! Are you okay?" He quickly jumps up to reach him but Draco scrambles back, knocking the chair to the floor.

"D-Don't want to.. tie.." He shakes his head rather furiously , so fast that his teeth clatter and Harry feels full blown panic hit him. Unsure what to do, he quickly moves closer.

"Draco... Draco.. can you hear me?" He asks desperately but the boy is lost to the world, his palms pressed to his head and his head moving back and forth while he chanted ," Please, Please." over and over again.

Harry pulls out his wand and conjures his patronus.

* * *

"Don't worry about it. Once he wakes up he'll be fine." Luna looks at the small watch in her hand, carefully timing Draco's pulse. Harry feels guilt overwhelm him.

"This... This thing with Draco. Can't he get better?" He asks softly.

Luna sighs , before motioning Harry to the Hall. Harry casts one last look at the bed, where Draco is asleep, the sleeping draught keeping him completely relaxed and dream free.

Once they settle on the couch, Luna turns to him with a serious look.

"I need to be clear about something, Harry." She says bluntly.

Harry stares back defiantly.

"I'm not going to leave him alone if that's what you-re-"

"This isn't a game, Harry."

Harry looks as if he's slapped and shuts up. He glares at her.

Ignoring his gaze, Luna continues.

"Draco is not stable. I don't want to disclose details about him , but I can't risk you undoing all my hard work. "

The words make his fists clench. Draco is _fine._

She pauses for a second and Harry realizes that she's actually upset.

"Luna ..I-"

"He's been violated in a lot more ways than any human should, Harry. Every time there's a trauma, his mind has strained and stretched , trying to cope with the pain. I can't even begin to explain how fractured his psyche is at the moment and I think you should... you should be grateful that you've healed this well. Its rare for me to sympathize with a rapist but Draco... Draco isn't evil. He's merely broken. He needs to be fixed, first by the people around him and then, most importantly, by himself. I'm not saying you should stay away from him. That's entirely up to you. Although I can't understand why you'd want to-"

"Wait!" Harry says suddenly, his palm pressing against Luna's knee. He fumbles with his backpack and pulls out a small sketchpad, tossing it at her.

Luna stares at the item, its pages yellow and old, the edges curled from being perused too often and some of the pages distorted with ..tears?

She flips through the pages and her breath catches.

"Harry..." she begins, her voice raw and breaking.

"Th-This isn't... I.. drew it four years ago." He finishes and Luna feels tears fill her eyes. He reaches out and turns a few more pages and the last sketch hits her so hard that Luna is certain her heart stops beating.

"Oh my God..." she stares wide eyed, the image branding itself into her mind.

"You see? You see why I can't leave him , Luna? That night, four years ago, I wasn't the only one hurting. I _saw _him Luna. I saw his face and that was all it took for me to heal. "

"Harry..."

"All of you, you keep thinking that he _broke me. _He _wrecked _my life. That's like saying a broken twig wrecked an oak tree. Its stupid and foolish and dumb ! So what if he left a few scratches on me? A few dents in my mind? It doesn't matter. Not when he's the one who snapped in two."

He takes a deep breath before turning to her.

"So now you know. Now you know why I want to hang around." He says bitterly.

Luna doesn't say anything to that.

Instead she holds out the sketch pad.

"Don't let Draco see this. Not until he's ready." She warns.

Harry nods , slipping it back into his bag. He isn't ready to share it either.

* * *

When Draco wakes up he's alone. He momentarily forgets where he is and blinks around the room. The lighting is dim and golden, the window open. A slight breeze hits his forehead and it feels soothingly cold against his sweaty skin. He raises a hand to his face, surprised at the the warmth radiating off his skin. The last thing he needs is a fever.

But its too late , and his limbs feel leaden as he tries to get himself to sit up. His entire body is covered by a smooth sheen of perspiration and the cold from the window combined with the heat of his body makes his bones ache. He groans a bit and it takes a few tries to get his legs over the edge of the bed. His vision swims dangerously for a second and he quickly shuts his eyes, letting his body adjust to standing.

He totters over to the door, leaning against the frame and peering into the hall.

Deserted.

Draco notices the box before reaching bed. It takes him a few seconds to remember that Harry had brought it earlier.

Apprehensive, he lightly nudges it open.

A stone basin, shallow and wide stares back at him.

He sinks into the couch , shirtless and clad only in boxers , reaching for the stone vessel. The basin is too heavy for him to lift up or maybe he's just too weak. Nonetheless he stops trying to lift it , his fingers closing on a small note.

_its a pensieve. when thoughts crowd into your head you can put them in here. it always helped me. _

_harry._

He stares at it a little more before standing up. He reaches for his wand, lying on the couch and points it at his head. The incantation is vaguely familiar and he tries to concentrate but it doesn't work.

Taking a deep breath, he tries to steady himself, trying a second time. This time, he feels something leave his head and watches as something light blue and silvery trails after his wand and collects at the bottowm of the basin, an odd glistening fuid that swirls around in circles, beautiful and tempting.

He peers into it.

He can make out a few faces, but not too clearly. He knows how pensieves work and soon he's falling into the murky depths, his body weightless .

* * *

_An eighteen year old Draco is sitting in front of St. Mungos, waiting for his turn. He looks haunted and pale , but his face is scarily devoid of emotions.  
_

_"You can go in, Mr. Malfoy." The lady at the reception sneers at him, not an ounce of pity on her face. He wonders if his father had killed someone in her family. He has a mad urge to apologize but he's not sure how that would help. Like the few men before, she might think he was mocking her and have him beaten or worse, banned from coming here._

_So he doesn't apologize, just walks away, head bowed . The ward is at the end of the corridor and he takes a little breath , steels himself, before opening the door. _

_Narcissa Malfoy is crouched in the corner of the room, her nails scratching the wall as she tries to carve some complicated patter only her tortured mind hospital gown in ragged and stained, torn in odd places . Her once flawless complexion is marred with soot and dirt and scratches.  
_

_He swallows a sob and merely moves closer._

_Closer and closer and soon he's kneeling next to her, his face inches from hers._

_"Mother." He chokes out. His fingers reach out and touch her hair, dirty and matted and full of knots. He can think of a zillion spells to make her look better. To clean her up and make her beautiful again but he can't because they've taken his wand at the reception._

_Instead he lightly strokes her hair. She doesn't look up.  
_

_"Mother, I've brought you something." He wishes she would look at him. With that kind , loving gaze, so different from what everyone else saw. He has so much to repay her for._

_The nights when he'd crawl into her lap, incapable of telling her exactly what they were doing to him, but equally incapable of stopping the tears. _

_The days when his father would whip him for not being the best in class , for losing at Quidditch and he would just stand there, not sure how to explain that he could barely stay on the broom, his entire body sore from being violated one time too many. Those days when Narcissa would pull him close, despite the fact that he was a strapping young man, taller than her.  
_

_How could he ever repay?_

_He pulls out the small emerald colored brooch, his mother's favorite. Its made of cheap enamel and is inexpensive and sparkly but its something she has always loved, because Draco had bought it for her._

_He holds it out , holding his breath. The scratching stops for a second and Narcissa stares at the brooch, her lips parted, drool slipping from between the folds.  
_

Draco knows its just a memory but he reaches out to wipe it anyway. He can't _not _do it.

_Draco sees something flash in her eyes, momentary and quick, gone before he can fully capture it in his mind. A flick of recognition and he crawls closer, eager to see more . To catch a glimpse of his mother , who was lost somewhere inside this ugly outer shell._

_"D-D-Drrr-aa-" She gibbers and Draco's heart shatters so painfully that he momentarily sees black. _

The present Draco feels oddly connected like he's the one experiencing the entire nightmare all over again and his head aches and he wants to get out.

Instead his legs turn to jelly, his wand slipping out of his fingers as pain shoots up his skull.

Arms close around him before he hits the floor and his vision clears marginally. Harry's near him.

Inside his memory.

In the pensieve .

Shame and hurt and humiliation flood in and he tries to get away but the holdon his waist tightens.

"Lets get out of here, Dray." Harry whispers and the next second he's flying back up, out and away from his nightmarish memories, coughing and spluttering .

They land on the threadbare carpet near the couch and Draco collapses into Harry.

Worried green eyes peer into his face.

"Dray... Why did you get up? God, you're burning up. Here, let me."

He shuts his eyes when Harry turns him around, wrapping his coat around him and holding him close. Draco feels his face hit Harry's chest, his back balanced on the brunette's thighs and he feels physically sick.

"Plea..se.." He tries to convey that he doesn;t want to hang all over Harry, doesn't actually want to touch him again but he's already being lifted up, with ease.

The pain in his skull increases again and relief floods him when he's placed on his bed again. His eyes drift shut and he almost blacks out.

"I'm here. I'll be here." Harry's voice calls out , deep and echoing and fingers twine with his.

Harry keeps talking , because he's always liked talking after all. He coos and soothes and strokes his back and in no time Draco is falling back asleep.

* * *

Harry watches Draco as he struggles out of the bed. His fever is better but still not fully gone and Harry has decided that no matter what Draco Malfoy has lost, he hasn't lost his stubbornness.

"You can take the day off! I'm your boss god damnit!" He shouts as the blonde stumbles into the bathroom. Draco doesn't reply and the sound of the shower running drowns out the rest of Harry's protests.

Sighing, he fixes the bed and lays out a few towels , before moving to the kitchen.

He's almost done with breakfast when Draco drifts back in. He's dressed in skinny jeans and a pale blue shirt and Harry feels his breath catch. Draco is gorgeous. Always has been, always will be and Harry will forever be vulnerable to his blonde beauty.

"I..I.. about th-the pensieve..." Draco falters , his fingers looping together .

"Its alright. You don't have to explain." Harry says quickly . He manages a bright smile and motions to the the small counter near the kitchen. Draco plops on it without resistance and Harry is struck by how.. _comfy_ the entire scene is. He wouldn't mind doing this often.

Or everyday.

He quells the thought at once.

One step at a time, he tells himself watching Draco gobble his eggs with childish fervor.

* * *

Seamus catches sight of Draco near the water cooler and he makes a beeline for the blonde. But before he reaches him, Harry does and Seamus hesitates , lagging back to watch their interaction.

He's not close enough to hear what they're saying but he's close enough to see the way Draco's face lights up when harry's near.

He feels his gut clench in anger.

Its unfair. So fucking unfair.

He remembers the mess that Draco had left behind in the classroom, four years ago. He had_raped _ for heaven's sake.

He belongs behind bars.

In a sick way, Seamus isn't happy about Harry moving on so completely and so easily. He has tried, often, to find out if the brunette is merely faking it. Maybe he's not completely alright, just pretending to be?

But he knows its not true. Harry has truly forgiven Draco.

It makes no fucking sense.

How can someone forgive their rapist?

Wasn't it against the laws of nature or something?

Worse yet, Seamus remembers the look on Harry's face when Draco had attempted suicide , soon after their graduation.

It wasn't guilt.

It was worse than that.

For some unknown reason, Harry had felt _responsible_ for Draco's recovery. To bring him back from whatever pits of hell he'd sunk into.

Seamus had wanted to send him right back.

He watches Harry as they finish their conversation and the brunette begins to move away.

Steadying himself, Seamus moves closer.

"I'll come over tonight. You like Chinese, right?" Harry calls out and Draco nods , looking bemused and witless . Seamus can't believe anyone wanting to associate with such a stupid looking moron. Draco was no longer suave or handsome or wealthy.

What the hell did Harry see in him?

* * *

Draco waits till most of the employees leave before going to the lounge. He prefers it that way. After a week of working at the firm he knows that all the employees are friendly and on good terms with each other and it was scary to have a dozen or so of them trying to drag him into their conversation.

He appreciates the thought but he can also glimpse the impatience in their eyes when he takes extra long to answer or to formulate words. He doesn't resent them for it, far from it. He just doesn't see the point in slowing things down for everyone else.

A glimpse out of the window shows that the rain is dwindling to a light drizzle and he quickly packs up his things stuffing the half finished reports back in the briefcase before shrugging on his coat. He remembers that Harry is supposed to meet him at his apartment and he gets ready quickly. He couldn't keep Harry waiting.

When he steps out of the office and begins the walk back to his apartment, the sound of muffled footsteps catch up to him and he turns.

Its Seamus.

"Heading home Malfoy?" His voice is quiet and serene and that helps. Draco relaxes into smile and nods, the dim light from a street lamp casting their shadows across the street.

"Does Harry know where you live?" Seamus asks casually, hands in his pockets and he matches strides with Draco. They keep walking and Draco looks up at the bulkier male.

"Y-yes. He c-came home last wee-k-k." He manages .

The sudden fist to his jaw is so unexpected that Draco looses his footing , landing on the cold wet road with a bone crunching thud. He barely gets his breath back before fingers twist around his hair, bending his head back till his neck feels like it is going to snap in two.

Seamus face presses against his, his lips inches from Draco's ears.

"The fuck did I say about keeping away from Harry?" He whispers , pulling both of Draco's arms back with one hand, the other tightening its grasp on his hair.

"I d-didn't.." Draco chokes when the hand holding his head pushes him down , the gravel and cement hitting his forehead with burning force. The pain shoots up his skull and he tries to find leverage, to heave himself away from the painful ground. he tries to inch for his wand but Seamus pulls it out of his coat, tossing it into the darkness.

"I should have done this four years ago, Draco. You always had this coming and now I'm going to pay you back. with interest." Seamus hisses.

.A foot presses into his spine and Draco is certain something breaks, his breathing ragged as he fights to stay conscious while kicks land all over his ribs and his middle. He coughs up blood, his vision swimming and after what feels like an eternity , Seamus stops.

He uses his foot to roll Draco over.

"I hope this teaches you a lesson Malfoy. " He spits out before turning on his heels and walking away.

Draco tries to take a deep breath but the pain in his lungs is excruciating. Fumbling a bit, he manages to leaver himself up, the gravel digging into his palm as he tries to get his body off the road. Finding his wand is even difficult but he manages . Muttering a quick spell, he gets rid of the blood trickling down his mouth. He has never been good at healing spells and he knows that he is going to start bleeding again but he hopes it will hold till he reaches the apartment.

He takes a little breath to steel himself, before letting the familiar darkness cover him.

He manages to apparate right into the couch and he sinks into the softness.

A part of him screams to get cleaned up, because Harry would be here any minute and he doesn't really want to see him like this. But he can't pull himself up and he feels a bit spoilt.

Its pathetic and sad but he feels a bit better at the prospect of Harry finding him this way. Harry would see him in pain and maybe that would make the brunette feel better.

Hasn't he hurt Harry , worse than this, so many years ago?

_I should have done this four years ago, Draco._

The pain feels just and deserved.

* * *

**A/N : I think this story is going over my head. Its rare for me to start crying while writing but I feel so unnaturally connected with my characters this time. This story is my baby and I'm going to nurture it with my whole entire being. *sobs***


	4. Chapter 4

When Draco wakes up,the rain is louder than ever. In fact its a thunderstorm and the lightning flashes at irregular intervals followed by loud booming thunder like monsters trying to reach each other through the rain.

_Flash , where are you? Boom, here I am._

The first thing he registers is that he's in his bed, when he's pretty certain he fell asleep (unconscious?) on the couch. The bedroom is sweltering hot, despite the fact that its cold and raining cats and dogs. His mouth is dry, so dry that he's certain that the skin is on the verge of tearing and his body feels so painful , too painful to form coherent thoughts. He takes a slow breath and pain shoots through his ribs.

He makes a move to sit up and it takes him a second to realize that there's something tight wrapped at the base of his ribs. His head feels heavy and he raises his fingers to his forehead surprised to find the gauze dressing around his forehead. Swinging his legs over the bed is relatively easy, his legs offer no protest and he is soon swaying but erect , blinking back exhaustion as he makes his way to the hallway.

He braces himself against the wall ,trying not to sink to the floor. He's feeling hot and dizzy and confused and a glass of water feels like the answer to all the questions of the universe.

The windows in the living room are all miraculously closed, except for the one near the door. He reaches for the light switch only to find that the wiring is shot.

A few more quick little steps and Draco is in the living room. His eyes take time to adjust to the darkness, especially with the occasional bouts of lightning that light up the room in sudden blinding flashes.

"Draco?"

He almost dies on the spot, his heart pounding so painfully that he begins coughing.

Not the best move, with broken ribs.

"Are you okay?" Harry's voice is a dull , gentle drone. It makes his eyes heavy and he fights to remain conscious.

"Fine." He gulps. The dryness in his throat increases tenfold and he leans a bit more heavily against the walls. Thunder sounds in the distance and he flinches, the sound digging through his already pounding head.

"Do you want me to get you something?" Harry asks, and through the darkness Malfoy can make out a figure, straightening from the couch. He watches the shadow move towards him and relaxes, marginally when a hand brushes his shoulder, easing him away from the wall and into warm arms.

The lack of visuals heightens all his other senses and he tries not to breathe in too deep. Harry smells like green apples and honey, a curious tangy smell that mixes with the smell of the rain and he feels like a deprived drug addict getting his first fix after years of _longing. _

"I'll get you some water. You like it warm, don't you?"

Harry guides him to the couch and moves away , leaving Draco in the darkness. His mind is relaxed and the pain in his ribs is reduced to a dull throb. Draco stares straight ahead, his eyes trained on the window.

He can see the street light, from here and the rain drops catch the light beautifully, little beads of silver moisture , glistening and sparkling as they fly down from the sky. Its hypnotic, the way they seem to have no beginning and no end and Draco wonders, if anything in life does.

Its not like him to sit and contemplate the mysteries of life on a dark and stormy night. The idea is so cliche that he almost feels like snorting .

The soft smirk that comes is a throwback to the old Draco, the one that is dormant, buried and caged beneath layers and layers of guilt and self-disgust. He feels something crush his chest at the thought of being _himself _again. Its a frightening and exhilarating prospect, one he isn't particularly ready for.

Over the years, Draco has been forced to craft an odd sort of facade in front of his true self. He isn't cold, he absolutely hates looking down on people and he certainly doesn't believe in someone's bloodline determining their worth. But that was just him. No one else around him seemed to feel that way and soon he began exchanging ideals for acceptance, beliefs for friendship and then his dignity for his father's approval.

When Harry settles next to him, pressing a small cup of warm water into his hands, the words tumble out without warning.

"I ..I was thirteen."

He has no idea what to say next. Has no idea how to bring his thoughts out, to string his emotions into vocalized phrases, to try and connect with the green eyed boy next to him.

But he tries.

He really does.

"Th-That day. Hermione , she.. hit me."

Which was his fault. Totally. But Harry doesn't say that. In fact he doesn't say anything, merely loops and arm around his waist, careful not to hurt his ribs. They lean back against the soft fabric of the couch and Harry pulls a blanket over their shoulders, keeping the chill from the rain out.

"The se-venth years... Th-They... wanted me..t-to..."

_"She hit you? And what did you do? Stand there and take the hit like a filthy whore? The fuck is wrong with you?" _

_Draco, all of thirteen years, on the cusp of manhood but so, so far from it , merely stared in hurt and humiliation. _

_"I.. its alright. She was just.."_

_"You're going to have to pay her back! You know that right? "_

_And Draco had blinked, scared and confused. Did they want him to hit her? _

_His mother's voice had floated into his conscience. A real man never hits a woman. _

_"No. You fuck her."_

_Loud chuckles and guffaws and Draco had merely stood there, stunned , horrified, fighting nausea. _

"Draco." Harry's voice is close and shaking and Draco tries to gather his thoughts.

"I .. couldn't-t... it... I had a sister, you know... T-Tonks, she was...l-like a sister and Hermione.. she reminded me of-f... of.. her... I ref-refused." His voice cracks and he coughs, the pain in his rib heightening again. Harry's finger close around his own, bringing the cup of water to his lips and Draco takes a grateful sip, the lukewarm liquid easing the strain in his throat.

"They.. They ..."

"Shh.. Its alright. You don't have to say it if you don't want to." Harry soothes , his fingers tracing circles on his back and Draco whimpers when the pain in his ribs intensifies.

"It-t.. hurts.." He blurts out before he can bite back the words and immediately, Harry draws him closer.

"Oh, Damn. I'm sorry Dray, Luna said I couldn't use magic on you because of the ... well, she said the ribs need to reattach on their own. You need to lie down... like this.. wait..."

Harry gently presses Draco's head to his chest and then stretches over, his fingers curling behind Draco's knees and lifting his legs to the couch. The couch is barely long enough to accommodate his length and his stance puts incredible pressure on his ribs. He's pretty certain he's going to die.

"Ha-Harry.." He wheezes, trying to get back up but gentle fingers push him back and he tries to relax.

After a few minutes the pressure eases and his breathing evens out.

Finger thread through his hair and he feels his eyes grow heavy.

"I didn't want to hurt her. It.. Do you understand? It was better... better that I.. that I got hurt-t than... that she..." He trails off and then something wet and warm drops on his cheeks. He looks up , surprised and sees Harry brushing away the underside of his eyes.

Harry's crying.

And to his surprise, so is Draco.

* * *

Harry is ruled by colors.

Maybe it comes from being an artist, from dabbling in paints and shades of charcoal, creating bright and vibrant replicas of life, some so real that they had one over the original.

Or maybe it comes from years of being blind as a bat with no one to replace his glasses , till the forms all merged into indistinguishable blobs and the only thing that stood out was the hue.

Whatever the cause, colors define his existence. He remembers taking a class on Color psychology during one of his summer vacations and that had been a good choice. It had reassured him that it wasn't stupid to define everything , people emotions and feelings , using color.

Somewhere he remembers reading about everyone having a unique brand of magic. Something that is inherently their own, something that makes their magic recognizable, traceable, gives it an identity , so on and so forth.

Like Hermione, she has this unquenchable thirst for knowledge and insatiable curiosity, to know all things to define all things, leaving nothing uncovered .

And inexplicably , you could toss her into a room with three hundred and forty red herrings and one right answer and her brain would somehow pick that answer out.

Because what she wants is what she is.

With Harry, its the need to make things _right._

With Draco, he could never understand what it was that drove him.

And Just like Draco remembers that night, Harry does too.

Except in his mind its all a flash of colors.

The flashy angry red that came off in waves when Draco slammed him into every solid surface in sight, the black at the edges of his vision as fear and panic crowded his senses and the dull throbbing grey of misery painted all over Dray's face.

Draco's face had always been like an exquisite painting. You could watch it, speculate about it, form your own theories and pass your own judgement but at the end of the day only the owner knew what he was trying to convey.

Except for that day, while he hovered over Harry, wrecking Harry's body and his own soul.

For that moment he had been unprotected and bare, every emotion painted on his naked face and filling Harry's head with a plethora of multiple colors of helplessness and guilt and regret and pain.

So, so , so much pain.

That moment, that fleeting yet infinitely stretched moment had carved itself into the back of Harry's eyelids.

Draco was broken.

And Harry was going to set things _right. _

* * *

_Transcript of case #23156_

_Name: Draco Lucius Malfoy._

_Details : Rape; Suicide Attempt (s); Post Traumatic Stress Disorder ( following mothers death)_

_Consulting Physicist : Luna Ariel Lovegood. _

_LL : How are you , Draco?_

_DM:..._

_LL : Dray?_

_DM:..._

_LL: Would you like something to drink?_

_DM:..._

_LL: Would you like to see Harry?_

_DM: N-NO! ( Note :- Patient shows unnatural agitation )_

_LL : Alright. Why not?_

_DM : I...hurt him._

_LL: Why do you think so?_

_DM:..._

_LL: Did someone tell you to hurt him, Dray?_

_DM: Voices..._

_LL: Voices. In your head?_

_DM: *nod*_

_LL: When do these voices talk to you?_

_DM: Wh-What?_

_LL : When do the voices talk to you, you know ask you to do stuff._

_DM: When..I'm.. upset._

_LL: Okay. And when are you upset?_

_DM: ..._

_LL: Let me rephrase makes you upset?_

_DM: I..d-don't know._

_LL: Okay. Do the voices tell you to do anything else?_

_DM: N-No._

_LL: Did they tell you to try hurting yourself?_

_DM: I don't want to hurt anyone._

_LL: No. You don't . Because you're a good boy._

_DM: Thank you, mommy. _

_LL: Dray..._

_DM: Can I go play with Blaise now, Mommy?_

_LL: Draco. Listen to me... Draco._

_( end of transcript )_

_Personal Notes : Patient shows severe schizophrenia, combined with suicidal tendencies. Patient also shows signs of reverting to childhood behavior. Common with PTSD. Severe psychological trauma suspected. Further investigations into Patient's childhood advised._

* * *

Draco stares in shock as he watches Harry drag a crate full of stuff into the apartment. The rain from the previous night has let up, leaving behind freshly washed streets and cool and breezy winds. The sun is dull enough to be pleasant and bright enough to make itself known.

A perfect day.

"I just thought the walls look dismal. And since we're gonna be stuck inside here till your ribs heal,I figured we could do something useful." Harry smiles , dragging the box further in. Inside are rolls of wallpaper and cartons of paint, paint brushes, huge pieces of Thermocol and glittery paper.

"P-Paint?" He asks , confused and surprised. The walls do luck dull. The paint is chipped and an odd assortment of cracks and stains decorate the grey surface. However the prospect of painting the walls just because they're a little grey seems rather.. outlandish?

"Sure. You don't have to do anything. Just rest. I'll take care of everything."

And Harry is true to his word.

He glares at Draco each time the blonde moves, firmly insisting that if he doesn't take complete rest, his ribs are never going to heal.

Draco spends the rest of the morning , lounging against the couch , wincing at the slightest movement, while Harry methodically cleans the room. It's a long and arduous process and by noon, Harry is groaning against one of the walls, hands massaging his waist .

"D-Do you need Help?" Draco asks softly, his heart aching for the poor boy. Harry however, grins happily.

"Nah. Its too bad we're smack dab in the middle of muggle London. I could use a little magic. " He grimaces, but quickly gets to his feet. The sun is weak again, and Harry drags the few meager furniture to the middle of the room, covering them with plastic wraps. He airs out the room by opening all the windows and then washes the walls.

Draco drags himself to the kitchen, steadfastly ignoring the pain in his ribs, in favor of making them lunch. The dining table is of course covered in Plastic , so they settle down on the floor, plates spread out before them.

Its a slow and odd thought , creeping into his conscience like the train trickling in through closed windows.

_pretend to be his friend and fuck him like the whore he is. Again. is that what you're doing dray?_

The moment the thought forms, his fingers begin shaking, his nerves start feeling frayed and he drops his spoon with a clatter. Harry merely smiles, picking it back up for him, but Draco is already sinking into the familiar darkness.

Draco hasn't felt this wound up in ages and he tries not to panic at the sight of Harry close by.

The paint and the card boards remind him of something sinister, something he has never truly forgotten. The smell is strong and pungent and it triggers emotions in him . The voices, dulled with years of therapy, begin to surface again, taunting, teasing and terrifying.

_You're a monster Draco, you think painting walls together will make you good like him? he's good and pure and innocent and you're filthy and here you are tainting him with your wickedness. Once a monster always a monster. _

He moves a bit and the pain shoots down his rib, a wonderful distraction from the war raging inside his head. He moves again, more roughly , and this time the pain is stronger. Better.

Before he can fully comprehend what he's doing, Draco takes a deep breath and twists his torso, as far as he can.

He isn't prepared for the sheer agony that courses through his body, so painful that he nearly blacks out. The whimper that escapes him is completely involuntary and the next second , Harry is at his side, eyes wide and scared.

"Oh my God, Draco, what the fuck did you do?" Harry hisses and Draco stares down, in surprise . A red stain is spreading through the thin white of his shirt, soaking the fabric in scarlet.

Do fractured ribs bleed?

"I.I.." Draco blinks blankly but Harry is already moving, running out of the hall and into the bedroom. The pain in his ribs begins to fade or maybe his senses are the ones fading and Draco gently lifts the shirt, peering into the wound.

Its a cut. Clearly deep and wide. He remembers something digging into his back on the road but the extent of the cut is surprising.

"I should never have listened to Luna!" Harry shouts, returning with steaming water and towels. Draco just stares as the brunette presses the wet cloth to his wound, forming a compress and increasing the pressure.

Its takes a while but soon the bleeding stops and Draco is back in bed, buried beneath a blanket, only the top of his face visible. Harry paces the room , muttering to himself.

"I can't believe you did that... I mean.. why on earth would you? ... Was it me?" He asks, anguish coating his voice as he stares at Draco.

Draco is frozen, although he wants to shake his head frantically.

_No, No... its not you, it never was, never will be. Its me, Its all me.. I deserve this._

"Maybe Luna's right." Harry finally sighs, sinking at the base of the bed, his head falling into hands. Draco stares at the boy, not sure what to say or how to say it.

"Maybe I should stop wrecking all her work." He says quietly. Draco finds his mind whirling in confusion.

After a few more minutes of silence, Harry stands up, switching off the lights in the room and pulling the curtains closed.

"Wh-Where..." Draco stutters, momentarily scared of being alone.

"I'll be in the hall. You shouldn't have gotten out of bed in the first place. You stay here , I'll stay there." Harry says bluntly, shutting the door on his way out.

* * *

"You want me to check on him?" Luna asks with a raised eyebrow and Harry fidgets.

"Things... they've changed. I.. I don't think I can do this." He mutters.

"What's changed?" Luna asks, leaning forward curiously.

"Its just... I'm not really helping." He says in despair.

Luna doesn't say anything, continuing to sip her coffee.

They're in one of the quaint little coffee shops near the office. Harry has on a windbreaker and the rain outside is strong and hard.

A complete contrast to how weak and defeated he feels at the moment.

"Harry, you don't have to feel bad." Luna says softly.

"No,you don't understand... I.. I have to..." His voice fades off uncertainly. Luna sighs.

"Harry, I think you're forgetting the principle here. You don't have to do anything... You either want to do it or you don't."

Harry blinks at that.

It makes an odd sort of sense , he supposes. He doesn't really have to do it, yeah. He could forget the whole thing, leave Draco to his own devices and get back to his life.

Only the very prospect seems so... wrong.

Why?

Because he _wants _to help Draco.

"Harry?" Luna prompts softly.

He looks up with a slight smile.

"I.. I do want to. " He admits quietly. Luna smiles, the sides of her eyes crinkling as she tosses her blonde hair back.

"Well, if you want to help him , if you've always just wanted to help him... then... then nothing's changed right?" she smiles again but Harry's already moving.

* * *

_Transcript of case #23156_

_Name: Draco Lucius Malfoy._

_Details : Rape; Suicide Attempt (s); Post Traumatic Stress Disorder ( following mothers death)_

_Consulting Physicist : Luna Ariel Lovegood. _

_LL : So, back again are we?  
_

_DM: Good Morn-ning.  
_

_LL : Good Morning, Dray. Its a nice warm day, isn't it?_

_DM : Its... Its r-raining._

_LL: Oh, It is , isn't it? . I'm sorry, Draco . You were right. _

_DM : Right-t? I'm wr-wrong..._

_LL: Of course you not. You were right just now weren't you?_

DM : I.. was?.

___LL: Yes. You were. I was wrong and you were right. And maybe tomorrow I'll be right and you'll be wrong. But no ones always right. And no ones always wrong. Okay?  
_

_DM : ...  
_

_____LL: Okay. Did you write in your journal?  
_

_DM : N-Not much.  
_

_______LL: Thats fine. You don;t have to write a lot. Just when you feel like it.  
_

_DM : O-Okay.  
_

**_* Excerpt from Journal *_**

**_Filthy. Blood. mommy are you there can you see me they wont let me visit they say you are hiding from me but they wont tell me the way to get there i cant find you are you in that room at the end of the eastern corridor or should i go further down the hall mommy i cant find you wont you come find me._**

**_*end of excerpt*_**

_______________LL: So when did you write this?  
_

_DM : I..I'm s-sorry.  
_

_______________________LL:Whatever for?  
_

_DM : For looking for my mommy.  
_

_______________________________LL: there's nothing wrong in looking for your mommy, Draco.  
_

_DM : they said... they said she doesn't want to see me.  
_

_______________________________________LL:hmm... who are 'they'?  
_

_DM :I d-don't know.  
_

_______________________________________________LL: Okay. Now I want you to do something.  
_

_______________________________________________DM :Okay._

_______________________________________________LL : I want you to write down everything they say. And we'll go over that in a couple of days. Is that okay?_

_______________________________________________DM : Y-Yes._

_______________________________________________LL: Excellent. _

_DM : Can I see her , then?  
_

_______________________________________________________LL: ... When you're both ready. _

_______________________________________________________( End of transcript.)_

_______________________________________________________Personal Notes : Appointments to be scheduled more often.  
_

* * *

"You... c-came back?" Draco stutters, fingers shaking slightly around the glass of aplle juice.

Harry leans against the doorframe and shrugs.

"Do you want me to leave?" He asks , briskly.

Draco looks confused for a second and Harry continues staring at him. An hour by himself, in the park has convinced him that mollycoddling Malfoy is not helping. He needs to make Malfoy be _Malfoy. _The Draco Malfoy that was buried somewhere beneath that self destructive facade , needed to be dragged out , not coaxed out.

"D-Do you want-"

"I asked you a question Malfoy. You answer." Harry says sharply. Draco looks slightly shocked, the use of his surname unsettling him no doubt.

"I..." He relapses into his usual response. Silence. But Harry continues standing in his spot.

"I'm not moving until you tell me to leave. Or to stay." He says stubbornly.

Draco waivers slightly and harry feels something lime panic, because , fuck what if Draco asked him to leave?

"Okay."

Safe. Non committal and agreeable. For the moment though, Harry settles for the single syllable and shuffles inside the apartment, slipping out of his rain soaked jacket.

In retrospect , Draco could have been agreeing to him leaving but Harry firmly squashes that thought.

* * *

**_a/n : okiee whut is this? I dunno.. Forgive me, I've been busy with some final year essays and stuff like that. will update more often. Reviews are loved. _  
**


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